9 Days Sober.

 

Someone asked me how it has been and the only words I could really say is: it’s been hard.

I’m not going to sugar coat it and say I feel empowered and strong- I don’t in the slightest. I have never felt weaker, to be honest. Not in body, but soul.

It was a rough day with Tayler- for those just following my journey, she is my oldest daughter and was diagnosed with non verbal autism. These are the days I’d usually find solace at the bottom of a bottle…

And now- i’m learning how to cope with stress in different ways. It’s hard. Hard to find peace when you feel all these emotions overwhelming you….

I sat down today to think and I realized I don’t even know who I am anymore. When I look in the mirror, I feel so detached. I lost myself for so long. I can’t even remember what I enjoy or what makes me happy. It was such a sobering feeling.

I feel like I’m getting to know myself all over again. A girl that’s dealing with pain- in a healthy manner. A girl that’s choosing to help herself, finally ❤️

I get nervous- and scared at times- that this is too much for me. That it’s too overwhelming to think of the future, but I guess that’s why they say one moment, sometimes one breath at a time. I get nervous but then there are moments where I get excited. A new me is being reborn… and I’m kind of here for it. ❤️

I can’t imagine the girl I will be when I finally deal with all my bull crap and heal. ❤️ I’m ready. That’s all I can say.

#8daysober #sobriety #sobrietyjourney #mentalhealth #hypochondria #alcoholism #alcoholfree #alcoholism #alcoholaddiction #autism #autismmom #healing