He's my Breathing Room

  Day 2 of the  #recoverychallenge  is post a picture of something that inspires your recovery. These babies right here- my family- they’re it for me. Being healthier. Learning to cope with the difficulties of life in a healthy way for them is it for me. ❤️ I love them more than life itself- and I want to get better for them.  #alcoholic   #alcoholism   #sober   #sobrietyjourney   #mentalhealth   #mentalhealthawareness

Avoiding pain was my number one goal. And this isn’t to say I have this horrible life. But, I’m talking about the pain of my own mental health- and the pain of trying to escape autism at times, especially on the bad days. The pain of hypochondria. The pain of panic attacks. The pain of anxiety. The pain of the unknown that I crumbled under the weight of. The weight of screaming and some days, little peace. ❤️ I wanted an escape route so  #alcohol  became just that. At first it was drinking for fun, even alone. Then I realized how I could quiet those voices for a little bit- and began to do it all hours of the day. Alcoholics- addictions- you don’t wake up one day hoping to drink from 9am-9Pm. It’s a snowball effect. You just want to numb the pain of your mental health and demons for just a little bit… and then it just grows to numbing them all of the time. But we can heal- and we can find healthy ways to quiet those demons or honestly, face them head on. 💪🏻 Quieting those vo...

  22 days sober today. And it’s everything I could have hoped for- for myself and my family. ❤️ it hasn’t been easy in the slightest and I would be lying if I said every morning I woke up not wanting a drink. Anxiety for me is the worst in the mornings. So pushing through isn’t always simple. It’s a lot of distraction, distraction. Phone calls. Cleaning. Reading. But 22 days of healing and finding healthy routes!!! To say I’m proud is an understatement. I never knew the strength in the soul of mine til now. I still have a long road ahead- I haven’t had to face a few situations that truly brings my anxiety out, so this will be a difficult journey for me- but I will fight every second of every day to do this. Sobriety was the greatest gift I’ve ever given myself or my family. It’s worth it. I mean- look at that genuine, healthy smile!  #22dayssober   #sober   #sobrietyjourney   #alcoholism   #alcoholic   #mentalhealth   #mentalhealthawareness  ...

  Day 1 is: “what does recovery mean to you?” #Recovery  to me is the freedom to not be a slave to that next drink. I would legit drink a water to save up for the next drink so I wasn’t dehydrated. I didn’t drink water for health- I drank it to compensate for the next 4 beers I would drink. I would sit here, anxious, waiting to have the next drink. It used to be 5Pm. Then it slowly creeped to “eh, it’s 5Pm somewhere” and I popped a beer at 2pm. Then it was like, eh, day drinking. It’s summer, why not. And then it was noon. And then before long it was 9am. And I was perfectly okay with it. I remember telling someone, “I’m in survival mode. Don’t judge me.” But I soon realized I can’t live my entire life in survival mode- especially when survival mode was 6-12 beers a day. It was unhealthy and the control these thoughts had over me was sickening. I couldn’t wait for the next drink and the next drink and the next drink. I was a closet drinker- I would hide in the bathroom and chu...

  I know it isn’t April, but I saw this amazing Pin on  #pinterest  and was so inspired! So get ready for 10 days of opening up about life- where I was- where I am. ❤️ if this helps another person- or just continues to help my soul- this honesty- it’s worth it ❤️  #recovery   #alcoholism   #sobriety   #sobrietyjourney   #22dayssober

  3 weeks- ❤️🙏🏻 and I live by this mantra at times! Where once I just grabbed the bottle and didn’t think about it because I felt so overwhelmed and like I was drowning- now I say “get through the next 5 minutes….” And I may have to repeat it- but eventually, calm flows through me… and I can move on with my day! ❤️ it isn’t easy by any means, but a sweet friend told me “some days you take it second by second- and if you can overcome every second- they all add up… and here you’ve overcome the day.” 🙏🏻 Some might say- how is that even living? But it is fighting to live a better, healthier way… so it’s worth every bit of the struggle. ❤️ one day, I won’t have to take it second by second- but until then, I fight for my health, my mental health… every bit of it… every day. ❤️ 3 weeks sober. Let’s go! 🙏🏻  #sober   #sobriety   #sobrietyjourney   #secondbysecond   #mentalhealth   #mentalhealthawareness

At 10:30pm tonight, it will have been 3 weeks since I took my last drink. I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again. It was a tall glass of whiskey. It burned going down. I was hurting so bad- so sick- so overwhelmed. My hypochondria was the worst it had ever been and I couldn’t cope. I was struggling to just live through the day. I struggled to get out of bed. Depression had just wrapped it’s ugly chains around me and I felt like I couldn’t breathe most days, under the weight. Some May look at my life and say: how could you be depressed? But I think it’s important to know depression and hypochondria reach so much further than just what someone’s life looks like to the outside world. It’s so much deeper. Depression does not equal grateful. And that’s something important to remember. You can be grateful for your life but still drown in the depths of depression. It doesn’t pick or choose based off of what someone’s life looks like on social media. It just doesn’t. And where I thought drinki...

17 days of choosing something else over relief ❤️  #sobrietyjourney   #sober   #alcoholism   #mentalhealth   #mentalhealthawareness   #healthanxiety   #hypochondria

Ice Cube said it best, right. Today was a good day. ❤️ 16 days  #sober  today! 🙏🏻🙏🏻 yall! That’s insane! 😍😍 it hasn’t been the easiest journey- and I have almost thrown in the towel, but my goodness- learning what my I *can* handle without numbing it has been a breath of fresh air! Working through my thoughts has been a blessing! 🙏🏻❤️ I am so happy today. So thankful. Feeling so overwhelmed with gratitude. Today, I’m grateful for second chances and a God who steps in- and reminds me *MY* steps are numbered by Him! ❤️ health anxiety doesnt number my steps- hypochondria doesnt decide my journey. God and I do! ❤️ together. Celebrating 16 days sober  today.  #alcoholism   #sobriety   #sobrietyjourney   #alcoholfree   #mentalhealthawareness   #hypochondriac   #healthanxiety   #depression   #healing   #coping   #healthycoping   #autismmom   #ThankYouGod

  *make peace with them*  Goals.  #sobriety   #sobrietyjourney 30 Day No Alcohol Challenge

  2 weeks since I’ve had a drink ❤️ and 2 weeks of learning new ways to deal with tough days. I’m an autism momma. My oldest has non-verbal autism and to say that hasn’t done an impact on my mental health is a wish.. It has changed me… in ways I didn’t even realize. The past week has been tough. She is getting physical and aggressive and it has done a number to my soul and body. Today was particularly rough- and old me would have drank the pain away- but today, honesty won 🙏🏻 I said I needed time to breathe, purchased a paint kit and other supplies, and painted my first Fall painting. I’m no Picasso, but the therapy was all this Momma needed. I have not felt so calm, focused, and present. I am so thankful for new tools to cope with. And I am so thankful for learning how to be honest. We think we are so strong keeping everything inside- not spilling our pain and hurt onto someone else, until we have a breakdown- and realize this was never our burden to carry alone anyways. 🙏🏻 Ho...