Day 1: Recovery Challenge.
Day 1 is: “what does recovery mean to you?”
#Recovery to me is the freedom to not be a slave to that next drink. I would legit drink a water to save up for the next drink so I wasn’t dehydrated. I didn’t drink water for health- I drank it to compensate for the next 4 beers I would drink. I would sit here, anxious, waiting to have the next drink. It used to be 5Pm. Then it slowly creeped to “eh, it’s 5Pm somewhere” and I popped a beer at 2pm. Then it was like, eh, day drinking. It’s summer, why not. And then it was noon. And then before long it was 9am. And I was perfectly okay with it. I remember telling someone, “I’m in survival mode. Don’t judge me.” But I soon realized I can’t live my entire life in survival mode- especially when survival mode was 6-12 beers a day. It was unhealthy and the control these thoughts had over me was sickening. I couldn’t wait for the next drink and the next drink and the next drink. I was a closet drinker- I would hide in the bathroom and chug a beer so my children wouldn’t see me. All to cope. All to breathe. But I was destroying my body and soul in the process. So recovery to me is #freedom… freedom from waiting for the next drink. Freedom from alcohol controlling my next move. And while I combat my own anxious thoughts… I am learning that if I can control the urge to go buy a bottle of wine, I can control every other thought invading my place of peace. Recovery is freedom. In so many ways. #alcoholism #alcoholic #sobriety #sobrietyjourney #healing #mentalhealthawareness #hypochondria #depression #anxiety
#Recovery to me is the freedom to not be a slave to that next drink. I would legit drink a water to save up for the next drink so I wasn’t dehydrated. I didn’t drink water for health- I drank it to compensate for the next 4 beers I would drink. I would sit here, anxious, waiting to have the next drink. It used to be 5Pm. Then it slowly creeped to “eh, it’s 5Pm somewhere” and I popped a beer at 2pm. Then it was like, eh, day drinking. It’s summer, why not. And then it was noon. And then before long it was 9am. And I was perfectly okay with it. I remember telling someone, “I’m in survival mode. Don’t judge me.” But I soon realized I can’t live my entire life in survival mode- especially when survival mode was 6-12 beers a day. It was unhealthy and the control these thoughts had over me was sickening. I couldn’t wait for the next drink and the next drink and the next drink. I was a closet drinker- I would hide in the bathroom and chug a beer so my children wouldn’t see me. All to cope. All to breathe. But I was destroying my body and soul in the process. So recovery to me is #freedom… freedom from waiting for the next drink. Freedom from alcohol controlling my next move. And while I combat my own anxious thoughts… I am learning that if I can control the urge to go buy a bottle of wine, I can control every other thought invading my place of peace. Recovery is freedom. In so many ways. #alcoholism #alcoholic #sobriety #sobrietyjourney #healing #mentalhealthawareness #hypochondria #depression #anxiety
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